I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
