I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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