just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
