yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
