Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
