bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Two words: blizzard sex
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
