she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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