He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
