She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
