just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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