You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
