how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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