if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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