please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
