lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
