I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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