i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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