yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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