Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
