i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
