I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
