..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
