Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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