My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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