i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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