He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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