apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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