Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
