I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
