is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
