You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
