i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she told me i tasted like america
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
