The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
