No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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