i think my tv is drunk
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
