our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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