Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
