Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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