I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
