i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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