We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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