That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
