soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
