So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
