Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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