THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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