i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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