How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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