so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
