how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Randomize
