When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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