just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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