I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
