i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
