We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
How external is "for external use only"?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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