she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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