I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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