do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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