we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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