can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My dick has a subreddit
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
