So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
