break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
