I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
