do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
There are leaves in my underwear?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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