oh god the rape fog is back!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
